Everything is different now.

Assalammualaikum dear readers :) my last post was on january, I've been busy with school and other stuffs. since my last post, many things had happened. There are tears of joy and also tears of pain. I can't really describe everything in words. Many things had changed, school, friends and family. Even me, I'm a different person now. Not 100 percent different but I'm different. My life is more calm now. I have to admit this, before I wear hijab, I always think negatively, say bad things, leave my prayers, in conclusion, I was a lost muslim. Yeah, I'm not a good person. But now, it's a whole different me. I've become more calm, alhamdulillah so far I have never leave my prayers anymore, when I'm in trouble, all I do is pray to Allah. I'm proud of myself, there's one day, it was last week. I was very mad at my brother, before this, when I'm mad, I'll start to curse and you will never know how bad it is. but on that day I was mad at my brother, I managed to control my anger as I keep on reciting astagfirullahhal'azim. I'm telling you this because I wanna share my happiness. I'm happy because for the first time I've managed to control my anger which is really bad before this. Only Allah knows it. To be clear, I feel good about myself now. Maybe not always but let me tell you, if you ever feel down, insecure, sad, lonely, wanna cry, need someone to share your sadness, just take your wudu' and pray to Allah. It really helps, or at least just istighfar as many as you want until you are calmed. I'm serious, any problems you had, don't post on twitter, facebook, blog or any social networks. Take your wudu' and just pray to Allah, cry to Allah, say everything to Allah cause only Allah can really help you. That's what I do. I felt so calm and good that I don't even know how to describe this good feeling to you. It's just better than telling your friends and posting it on social networks. I know I have posted about my problems before, it was before and I think it's a wrong thing to do because it change nothing. And one more thing, it's not hard to change. When some people say, belum dapat hidayah nak berubah, idklah but I think it's not about hidayah, it's about your own desire to change, your determination, your effort to be a better person. When the determination is strong, you will succeed. You can't wait for that hidayah. You have to find it. It really is about fighting against your bad instinct. Once you managed to fight the bad feelings, you will be so proud of yourself and feel great. So, what I'm trying to say is, try as hard as you can to fight all the negativity and be a better person. You may not be perfect because nobody is perfect. At least you are a better person :) I really hope you guys read this in a positive way. Let's avoid having negative thoughts as we are all humans and humans made mistakes. Assalammualaikum.
Ohh wait, and not to forget to always thank Allah for everything, say Alhamdulillah for all joy, pain and success.